I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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