lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
