nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
