if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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