he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
