Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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