How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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