just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
