Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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