They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
