is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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