I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize