I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
