like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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