i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
