was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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