Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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