I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
BRING THE BAGELS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
