OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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