having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
