Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
