I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
