waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
