It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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