I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
