This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
