I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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