Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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