I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
