What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize