So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
