pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize