i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm too high and old for this...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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