I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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