I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
