Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
