you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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