I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
