Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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