No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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