You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
