chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
