so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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