Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
