From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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