I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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