Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
