You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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