"it" just moved
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
