It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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