Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
