I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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