when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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