the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
