I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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