Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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