so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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