How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize