can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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