I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize