Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize