True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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