Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
