The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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