You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
