OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
