i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
