But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
