he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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