Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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