So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize