Responsibility does not care about your dick.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
