I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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