omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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