Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
