Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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