You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
