Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize